So, Greg has gone back to work after 6 months off… I cannot believe how unprepared I am for this… I’m almost afraid to be alone with my kids! Things are for sure going to be interesting.
First of all, I am so delusional. We have just moved into a new house with a ton of space. The kids now have a playroom. I was sooo excited for this. I really believed, I mean, I dreamt about it, I fantasized about it… I really thought that because my kids now had a playroom, my living room would be clean. CLEAN! I thought I would finally not have to frantically kick things into corners when people just popped by, or say “excuse the mess.”
Every time I look at my living room, I could cry. I feel so defeated. Toys and clothes are everywhere because the girls go to the playroom and take what they want to play with and bring it to the living room, and even though our house is freezing cold they still insist on stripping. What happens when they do get to cold? Well, then they don’t want the clothes they had on before, now they want something new.
So they go up to their room and bring down 4 shirts, no pants, just shirts, and they want to wear them all. I have to somehow fashion an outfit from all these shirts. I work hard to make them happy with their get ups. There may be some tense moments, a bit of shouting, maybe clenched teeth. But I get it done. They have an outfit they love… I’m sweating, but happy they are finally wearing something. I then go to the kitchen for something to drink, and when I come back and either one or both are naked again laughing…. evilly… Oh, they know what they are doing. They can see that there, at that moment, they have broken me… They win and I will be doing whatever they want for the rest of the day…
Toddlers are evil beings.
Where was I…. oh yes, my delusions.
I also thought…and this is for real, I thought I would be able to start dinner at around 4:00pm while I’m home alone with all the kids, so we can eat at 6:00… (I don’t know why, but it always takes me 2 hours to cook dinner)…Ha-Ha-Ha…. Yeah that’s not going to happen. Tonight I fed the kids Mac & Cheese with Hot Dogs ‘cause I couldn’t start dinner until close to 6 and it wouldn’t be ready until 8ish… they go to bed at 7:30.
Another day I was trying to be proactive…. Slow Cooker!!!! I was trying my hardest to put a roast in the slow cooker… but I had to stop every 5 min to stop brawls, to stop Hazel from purposely hurting her brother (jealousy issues… I’ll go into that in another blog). It’s supposed to cook on low for 8-10 hours… it was almost noon! I know I could have also used my Dutch oven but then I can’t leave the house! How do people do this? I need a course on organizing my time. I’ve had to stop again this time to nurse Charlie who fell asleep in my arms and because I don’t have a crib set up my arms are his bed. I hadn’t even brushed my teeth yet.
And now Charlie has started to crawl… I’m screwed… I am spending a good part of the day picking up choking hazards that the girls keep bringing him. I’m not sure where they are getting them from. I swear Greg has thrown them all out…
By the 4th day I was feeling guilty at how much TV my girls watch, so I had the bright idea of having a no TV day…. That is NEVER happening again… NEVER!! It was the longest day ever! The girls played together nicely at first, but by 1pm they have played nonstop for 5 hours and were getting very irritated with each other and the fighting started…
I. Wanted. To. Bang. My. Head. Against . The. Wall!!!!! Aaaaaannnd we ran out of coffee!
Week 1 was definitely a challenge but we made it work. There may have been some yelling, there was definitely crying and not just the kids. Is it bad to nap in the chair while the baby naps in your arms and the girls are watching a movie? Would that make me horrible? I am so tired!
Have I mentioned that the spawn (thank you Risa Payant for that descriptor!) don’t nap anymore? Nope… I got so tired of fighting them to nap that it was easier not to. Sometimes they fall asleep on the couch but not always. The good thing is that bed time is now 6:30/7pm… It’s a little quieter for when I have to go to bed with Charlie who is ready close to 8. Then Greg gets a whole 3 hours of alone time… I wish I could have that every day. He tries to justify it by saying that he is cleaning up. And that’s true… BUT…….
But…. I too would clean up the dinner mess if it meant 3 hours of kid free time. The other day he told me that he “needs” to have time by himself everyday to clear his head and be ready for the next day. (Insert choking here) I gave him a look that could kill… He follows his statement by saying that he is sure I need that as well (very true) but it impossible for me to have that much time at the moment because of Charlie.
I tried very hard not get upset and said, yes it is possible It’s called pumping, bottles, and a DADDY!!!! He thinks a day with just Charlie is like a vacation. Yes, it’s easier than when the girls are around, but I wouldn’t call it a vacation. I still have to parent! He’s crawling now, I can’t just plop him down anymore. He’s on the go! And because of the lack of crib (totally his fault) Charlie has his 3 naps a day on me and is still nursing. So when I have a few hours without the girls but still have Charlie and he says crap like “Relaxing day eh?”
That is when I am slowly torturing him in my mind and he knows it.
I think that is why lately Greg has been amazing! I have seen a huge shift in his thinking. He is more attentive to me and my feelings… I had an exceptionally hard day with Hazel and texted him the code (since my PPD/PPR diagnosis we have a code phrase if I am coming apart.) I’ve never used it before, so he knew it was serious. He came home as fast as he could after work and took over. I went upstairs to calm down before making dinner…. it was amazing!
Blog Break: I absolutely love it when the girls laugh at something they are watching on TV…. Nora is laughing really hard at something on Poko.
Back to the kids. My children are NEVER allowed to have a writing apparatus freely again!!!! Look at my stinking wall!
I blame Greg, it’s easier… I may or may not have been home when it happened, it may or may not have happened right behind the chair I was sitting in, I may or may not have been distracted while nursing Charlie and watching Hoarders. (I’m slight obsessed with that show… even though it makes me cringe every time I watch it.) I didn’t give them the pencil, and in my eyes that is where the blame belongs.
Truth? I am starting to really like this SAHM gig… I don’t even mind that we haven’t left the house in 5 days…. The new house has plenty of space and lots to do….. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still flipping hard, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Plus it gives me plenty of things to write about.
About the Writer
Deanna Crawford is MomCraze, a stay-at-home mom of 2.5-year-old twin girls and a 6-month old boy living in New Glasgow, Nova Scotia, Canada. She started to write her thoughts as a way of keeping sane and hopes her contribution makes other mothers laugh and feel a sense of solidarity. Originally from Vancouver, Deanna spent her pre-child years singing in bands, staying up late and staying in bed until at least 10am. Deanna loves to laugh, drink wine with friends and really loves the idea of sewing – though she has yet to try it. Follow MomCraze on Twitter and Facebook!