Children’s Memory vs Parent’s Memory

Rita Silva BishopBeing a Parent, Singapore, Story of Mum0 Comments


If you are a parent you have been through it. If you are pregnant with your first then get ready because it’s going to be a crazy ride.

You just found out you are pregnant and you start thinking how you are going to keep all these wonderful (and sometimes not so wonderful) bump memories. For me it was a baby book. With the first one I started to write down everything, then I started to get paranoid. So I stopped writing just in case things would go wrong, I didn’t wanted to have any memories of it.

In the end, all went well and we had our first beautiful baby girl. It was then time to write down all those memories before the baby brain would kick in and I couldn’t remember it. I also didn’t have monthly photos of the bump; actually if I think of it, I don’t have many photos of my first pregnancy.

After the baby is born you want to record all those milestones. I used my phone to write down all those moments. BUT then Daddy backed up my phone with an older version and we lost everything!! More than 9 months’ worth… Heartbreak is little to describe what I felt. All those memories lost forever. How could I explain to our daughter that we didn’t remember when her first tooth came out, when she started crawling, walking, first sleep trough the night. D-e-v-a-s-t-a-t-i-n-g!!!

Then I got pregnant with the second, the third, the fourth… and time started to be shorter and then how could I keep memories from one but not the other? Wow the guilty feeling was horrible.

I started to think about what I actually had from my time inside my mum’s tummy, my baby days, my childhood. I only have one book, with some photos, some memories, and a piece of my first haircut. I don’t have much really, and I’m actually ok with it. I guess it’s fun to see it, but I don’t really mind not knowing when I first drooled, or when I had my first poop explosion, or my first vomit. You know all those lovely things we do as a baby… and that we now think our kids will want to know when they are older.

I once wrote about how photos are worth so much more than a thousand words. And I do have lots of photos. I can see the date on that first photo with a peeking first tooth, that photo with a lifting bottom trying to make a first move. If we are lucky we even have a video.

I really don’t have time to organize the photos there are thousands of them. I back them up in the computer now and pray that computers will be here for many centuries to come.

So really all this fuss about keeping all those memory sakes… do we keep them for us or the kids? If you think really really hard, do you really keep a grunge over your parents just because you don’t know everything about your past, your milestones?

Especially for those mums with multiple kids… don’t worry! You are not alone and kids won’t mind. The kids will even make fun of it. My husband, the third of three boys, says smiling that his mum doesn’t have photos of him. It’s true, she has very little but they always have a good laugh about it.

Just live those milestones to the fullest, either it’s their first tantrums, their first kisses, smiles, or their first dives into the water. That’s what they will remember, how much fun they had doing those first things with you.

About the Writer

Rita Silva Bishop is Co-Founder of MumRadar and lives in Singapore with her husband and four daughters. Originally from Portugal, Rita had a career in the fast-paced world of Motorsport event management before starting a family. With the craziness that comes from being a parent to four girls five and under, she has a passion for helping mothers overcome the challenges of motherhood and make life simpler.

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