Trying Not To Yell

Deanna CrawfordBeing a Parent, Canada, MomCraze0 Comments

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I am trying my best not to constantly yell at my girls…

I am really trying hard not to constantly yell at my girls…

How the hell can I stop? How can I honestly react when Hazel puts on rubber boots, climbs on top of the dining room table and pees on it so she can ” jump in muddy puddles”? (I hate Peppa Pig) Greg is now calling her Piss in Boots.

Or when I have asked them 100,000 times not to pick things off the ground and Hazel picks up poop? I am nowhere near my house and I didn’t bring wet wipes on our walk! Plus she is constantly smelling her hand and touching her face with it! How can I not yell!?!

Or Nora, when I ask her not to do something she purposely does it anyway and smiles while doing it. Or crosses her arms and closes her eyes and says no… (I think she closes her eyes because she thinks if she can’t see me, I can’t see her).

I feel like I am constantly yelling… It doesn’t make me feel any better that I am reading articles about what damage I could be doing to my girls or how I need to think about how would I feel if someone talked to me like that.

But how do you make 3 year olds listen? (Girls just turned 3)

Oh and they are soooooooo bossy! Please tell me this is just a phase.

Sometimes when I get so exasperated with them I tell them that I am the boss and that they have to listen. To which they yell no, they are the boss…

I was never a believer in bribery. Learned behaviour and stuff… yada yada yada… That was pre toddler me. Now it’s all I have… It’s my only power card. I use everything… Food, TV, park, bath time, even bedtime songs… Everything is leverage. I also lie….. I do that a lot.

Right now I would like to yell and scream but I am trying to stay Zen. I seem to always have one child screaming and yelling and having a little tantrum because I have said no. I know she screams and yells because 50% of the time it works… Anything to shut them up right? But I really am trying to change this behaviour… But man is it hard… I wish I could still smoke… Or eat junk food… or day drink… actually all of the above.

I am trying to be the kind of mom I am when people are watching… I am an amazing parent in public… But when the doors are closed… Crazy lady!

Tell me I’m not alone in that. I hope that we are all a tad yellier at home.

Deep Breathing…. Breathing Deep… Been trying that… Makes me dizzy.

Counting to 5 before reacting… 1…2…3….4…..5…. yea, I barely make it past 3.

Smiling and using a soft voice while disciplining…. I look insane and the girls have no idea what to make of it. They usually end up crying because they are scared of my psychotic face.

Hugging through it…. Okay, sometimes this actually works. If I scoop them up and hug them as I’m telling them why they can’t do something; sometimes, and only sometimes they will kiss me and say okay and even say sorry before I let them go. Then they go and do it anyway… Aaaaand I lose my shit.

Just remove the item or them or whatever and say nothing… Walk away as they are screaming in anger and not come back into the room until they are calm….. Haven’t tried this yet, I may try it today…. Hopefully I won’t  scream while I’m leaving the room.

Begging…  I have begged. BEGGED! I have begged my children to behave… Doesn’t… Freaking… Work.

It’s not every day that I find myself yelling, but it is for sure happening more than I would like….

So

I am trying really hard

To

Not

Yell

At

My

Kids (and my husband).

About the Writer

Deanna Crawford is MomCraze, a stay-at-home mom of 3-year-old twin girls and a 1 year old boy living in New Glasgow, Nova Scotia, Canada. She started to write her thoughts as a way of keeping sane and hopes her contribution makes other mothers laugh and feel a sense of solidarity. Originally from Vancouver, Deanna spent her pre-child years singing in bands, staying up late and staying in bed until at least 10am. Deanna loves to laugh, drink wine with friends and really loves the idea of sewing – though she has yet to try it. Follow MomCraze on Twitter and Facebook!