“For me, and for many of us, our first waking thought of the day is “I didn’t get enough sleep.” The next one is “I don’t have enough time.” Whether true or not, that thought of not enough occurs to us automatically before we even think to question or examine it. We spend most of the hours and the days of our lives worrying about what we don’t have enough of. We don’t have enough time. We don’t have enough rest. We don’t have enough exercise. We don’t have enough work. We don’t have enough profits. We don’t have enough power. We don’t have enough wilderness. We don’t have enough weekends. Of course we don’t have enough money—ever. We’re not thin enough, we’re not smart enough, we’re not pretty enough or fit enough or educated or successful enough, or rich enough—ever. Before we even sit up in bed, before our feet touch the floor, we’re already inadequate, already behind, already losing, already lacking something. And by the time we go to bed at night, our minds race with a litany of what we didn’t get, or didn’t get done, that day. We go to sleep burdened by those thoughts and wake up to that reverie of lack. ― from “The Soul of Money: Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Life”
How often do you go about your day in this “lack” mindset, thinking about not having enough but also not being enough?
In a similar way to the “find the mistakes” game on the newspaper, the mind’s pasttime is pointing out the many ways in which we are falling short and falling behind, the various ways in which we are getting it wrong as mothers.
If we could overhear many mums’ self-talk we would hear admonitions about not being good enough in actions, words; lacking patience, lacking strategies, lacking time.
We rush and juggle and stretch and desperately try to balance competing roles to be the best mother, wife and daughter.
So my challenge to you is to say to yourself as soon as you wake up and just before going to sleep: “I have enough and I am enough, just the way I am”.
And maybe start changing the mind’s pastime into one of spotting the good, the many little and big ways in which you are getting it right.
About the Writer
Silvia Wetherell is Co-Founder of MumRadar. She works as a counsellor and psychotherapist in an obstetric setting and has a special interest in maternal mental health. Originally from Portugal and much time spent in England, she now lives in Singapore with her husband and two young children. Silvia is also a Postpartum Support International Coordinator and Co-founder of the support group Mindful Mums.
Silvia has the loudest laugh, loves swimming in the ocean and snuggling on the sofa with her two cats, Jaffa and Freddie.